Feedback and Our Ice Age Brains

Hyper-awareness of danger is hardwired into all humans. Scientists speak of our "Ice Age Brains"—minds that are literally wired to be far more acutely alert to danger. Since the days when saber-toothed tigers lurked behind every rock and bush, our fight-or-flight response has been essential for survival. The vestige of this survival instinct is our "negativity bias," whereby negative experiences (unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions) have a greater effect on our psychological state than neutral or positive experiences of equal intensity.

While Ice Age Brains and negativity bias were essential when we roamed the frozen tundra dressed in animal hides, they are of lesser value in the workplace. Few of us remember a compliment or positive feedback we received in recent weeks, but chances are, many of us are still stewing about recent criticism or a less-than-stellar evaluation.

In marriage research, scientists speak of the "Magic Ratio": as long as there are five times as many positive feelings and interactions between spouses as negative ones, the marriage is likely to remain stable over time. Similar results have been found in other essential relationships, such as those between bosses and staff or supervisors and supervisees.

Giving positive feedback to staff is an essential element of a healthy work environment. Saying "nice job" is a good start, but supervisors can make their positive feedback far more effective and impactful.

A four-section grid is helpful for assessing and enhancing the quality of our positive feedback:

• Passive and Destructive: The manager or supervisor ignores the achievement and appears dismissive. Think of a time when you or a colleague worked for hours and organized a highly successful event, but the boss offered no acknowledgment.

• Active and Destructive: In this scenario, the manager points out only the negatives ("The bread sticks at your 500-person fundraising dinner were terrible"), steals the glory, or actively dismisses your success ("That was a great event—you couldn't have done it without me").

• Passive and Constructive: A supervisor provides low-energy or understated support for the effort ("Nice job on organizing the 150-person mission to Israel that raised $10 million. How do you like my new sports jacket?").

• Active and Constructive: Active and constructive feedback provides authentic, enthusiastic recognition and uses the event to advance learning and professional growth for both the individual and the team. Such feedback allows the professional to savor their accomplishment, learn from it, and share what they've learned with others.

When providing active and constructive feedback:

• Highlight specific elements** of the individual's efforts and performance that were stellar: "It was a great program. I was especially impressed with your efforts to engage diverse participants."

• Probe into goals, strategies, and actions**: "You did a marvelous job recruiting individuals for this program. What was your strategy? What do you feel were the keys to your success?"

• Create opportunities for shared learning**: "Barbara did a magnificent job on this fundraising drive. I'd like Barbara to brief the staff team to share her strategy."

Well-constructed positive feedback provides multiple benefits for both individual staff members and the entire team. Staff who receive positive feedback feel supported and empowered, and consequently become more highly motivated and engaged. If we're conscious of the "Magic Ratio," staff retention is likely to improve. According to a popular saying, "employees don't leave jobs—they leave managers." As managers, our job is to ensure that the opposite is also true: employees stay in our organizations because of the support, guidance, and thoughtful feedback of effective managers.

*David Raphael is a consultant focusing on non-profit organizations. He is based in Atlanta, GA and can be reached at david@diraphael.net*